-ONE-
Sitting in the waiting lounge of Bangalore International Airport, I had my heart pounding and legs shaking. It could have been due to the excitement of going abroad all alone for the first time or it could have been because of the doubts expressed by my friends about my chances of survival in Japan still playing at the back of my mind. I’m still not sure why, for I was both nervous and excited at the same time.
I boarded the Singapore Airlines flight at 11:00 pm and occupied my seat. We would land at Changi International Airport, Singapore early in the morning and then I would have to board another flight to Narita Airport, Tokyo. I was still not feeling comfortable. I had a feeling that my heart was probably going to explode inside. Somehow I managed to stay calm and tried not to look like a fool, although not knowing how much I succeeded. I closed my eyes and opened them only when the announcement for takeoff was made.
The flight took off. The young guy sitting right next to me was going to Brunei. He kept talking to me about his studies in Bangalore, how difficult it was to convince his family that he wanted to study Electronics, especially so as his dad has a huge shipping business in Brunei and they have been living there for almost thirty years etc etc. He was just bullshitting but he was a nice guy, except that he had a very bad breath – something you don’t expect in a passenger who has just boarded an international flight half an hour back. I offered him mint based chewing gums. Thank God, he accepted.
Pretty Chinese/Japanese/Indian (Yes, there indeed were all three types of them) kept walking around taking orders for drinks, snacks and dinner. I was shocked when I heard myself say “A coke please”. Almost everybody around me was ordering Johnnie Walker Black Label, Jack Daniels, Chivas Regal etc and I asked for just a can of coke!!! Well…I don’t know whether my condition was really that bad but it was for the first time in my life that I felt I shouldn’t drink when drinks were actually available in abundance.
After about an hour and a half I started feeling better. I waved to a pretty Chinese airhostess and was appalled to see a pimpled, oily skinned South Indian airhostess respond.
“This is really turning out to be a terrible day” I thought and sighed and said “Can I have a large Chivas on the rocks please?”
She nodded “Sure. Anything to munch on, Sir?”
“Oh…ummm…yes, some salted wafers would be fine. Thanks”
I had gulped down three pegs of Chivas and one glass of red wine by the time dinner was served. And I relished the excellent Indian non-vegetarian dinner with naan, pulav, mutton rogan josh, chicken fry and salad too.
Changi is the biggest international airport I have ever seen (I haven’t seen too many though). The wonderful shopping plaza inside Changi, especially the duty–free liquor shops are too tempting to stay out of. I put in a lot of effort not to look at them and located the gate where I would check-in for Tokyo a couple of hours later. Then I went to the restrooms.
After freshening up, I starter looking around in the electronic goods shops, perfume outlets. And of course once in a while I was glancing towards the flocks of oriental beauties passing by every now and then. It was a pleasant transit at Changi.
Ten minutes before the check-in time I was back at the gate. Another hour later I was comfortably seated at my window-seat in the Tokyo bound flight. Well, it was actually a Los Angeles bound flight which would stop at Tokyo on its way. I was in a great mood because I hadn’t got a window seat in the night flight from Bangalore but I got it when I could make great use of it - on a bright sunny day. However, this good mood didn’t last for too long as the fat dwarf next to me turned out to be a racist pig (he wasn’t a white guy). I don’t know which country he was from. He neither looked like a pure Chinese, nor like a pure Japanese and his English was even more nasal than the Yankees.
I realized what kind of a guy he was the moment he asked me to remove my arm from the common armrest between our seats as he didn’t want my brown arm get in contact with his pale arm. I couldn’t digest the shock at first.
“I beg your pardon!”
“Please remove your arm from this armrest. I need quite a large space to sit comfortably and I don’t want to be touched.”
“Excuse me. Even I want to sit comfortably. Everybody wants to sit comfortably. This is a common armrest and it’s quite broad. I’ve kept my arm well within the half on my side. You may choose to keep yours on the other half or not to.”
I looked outside the window. We were already in the clouds.
He kept quite for some time, and then asked “Are you a Software guy?”
I pretended not to have heard him. But he continued.
“Are you from India?”
“What if I say yes?”
“Nothing. Just asking.”
“Yes.”
“Ok. That’s why…”
“That’s why what?”
“Nothing. Just keep your arm away.”
“Shut up, else I’ll have to show you what I can do with this arm.”
He gave me a look which probably would have turned everything to ashes in the Vedic era.
I boarded the Singapore Airlines flight at 11:00 pm and occupied my seat. We would land at Changi International Airport, Singapore early in the morning and then I would have to board another flight to Narita Airport, Tokyo. I was still not feeling comfortable. I had a feeling that my heart was probably going to explode inside. Somehow I managed to stay calm and tried not to look like a fool, although not knowing how much I succeeded. I closed my eyes and opened them only when the announcement for takeoff was made.
The flight took off. The young guy sitting right next to me was going to Brunei. He kept talking to me about his studies in Bangalore, how difficult it was to convince his family that he wanted to study Electronics, especially so as his dad has a huge shipping business in Brunei and they have been living there for almost thirty years etc etc. He was just bullshitting but he was a nice guy, except that he had a very bad breath – something you don’t expect in a passenger who has just boarded an international flight half an hour back. I offered him mint based chewing gums. Thank God, he accepted.
Pretty Chinese/Japanese/Indian (Yes, there indeed were all three types of them) kept walking around taking orders for drinks, snacks and dinner. I was shocked when I heard myself say “A coke please”. Almost everybody around me was ordering Johnnie Walker Black Label, Jack Daniels, Chivas Regal etc and I asked for just a can of coke!!! Well…I don’t know whether my condition was really that bad but it was for the first time in my life that I felt I shouldn’t drink when drinks were actually available in abundance.
After about an hour and a half I started feeling better. I waved to a pretty Chinese airhostess and was appalled to see a pimpled, oily skinned South Indian airhostess respond.
“This is really turning out to be a terrible day” I thought and sighed and said “Can I have a large Chivas on the rocks please?”
She nodded “Sure. Anything to munch on, Sir?”
“Oh…ummm…yes, some salted wafers would be fine. Thanks”
I had gulped down three pegs of Chivas and one glass of red wine by the time dinner was served. And I relished the excellent Indian non-vegetarian dinner with naan, pulav, mutton rogan josh, chicken fry and salad too.
Changi is the biggest international airport I have ever seen (I haven’t seen too many though). The wonderful shopping plaza inside Changi, especially the duty–free liquor shops are too tempting to stay out of. I put in a lot of effort not to look at them and located the gate where I would check-in for Tokyo a couple of hours later. Then I went to the restrooms.
After freshening up, I starter looking around in the electronic goods shops, perfume outlets. And of course once in a while I was glancing towards the flocks of oriental beauties passing by every now and then. It was a pleasant transit at Changi.
Ten minutes before the check-in time I was back at the gate. Another hour later I was comfortably seated at my window-seat in the Tokyo bound flight. Well, it was actually a Los Angeles bound flight which would stop at Tokyo on its way. I was in a great mood because I hadn’t got a window seat in the night flight from Bangalore but I got it when I could make great use of it - on a bright sunny day. However, this good mood didn’t last for too long as the fat dwarf next to me turned out to be a racist pig (he wasn’t a white guy). I don’t know which country he was from. He neither looked like a pure Chinese, nor like a pure Japanese and his English was even more nasal than the Yankees.
I realized what kind of a guy he was the moment he asked me to remove my arm from the common armrest between our seats as he didn’t want my brown arm get in contact with his pale arm. I couldn’t digest the shock at first.
“I beg your pardon!”
“Please remove your arm from this armrest. I need quite a large space to sit comfortably and I don’t want to be touched.”
“Excuse me. Even I want to sit comfortably. Everybody wants to sit comfortably. This is a common armrest and it’s quite broad. I’ve kept my arm well within the half on my side. You may choose to keep yours on the other half or not to.”
I looked outside the window. We were already in the clouds.
He kept quite for some time, and then asked “Are you a Software guy?”
I pretended not to have heard him. But he continued.
“Are you from India?”
“What if I say yes?”
“Nothing. Just asking.”
“Yes.”
“Ok. That’s why…”
“That’s why what?”
“Nothing. Just keep your arm away.”
“Shut up, else I’ll have to show you what I can do with this arm.”
He gave me a look which probably would have turned everything to ashes in the Vedic era.
But then, neither were we in the Vedic era nor was he Durvasa Muni.
Rest of the flight was wonderful, with the exception of the lousy lunch served in between.
I was thanking God for providing me with a nice and heavy dinner in the previous night.
Thirty minutes before landing at Tokyo, there was an announcement from the pilot. “Dear passengers, please look through the windows on the left. The weather is good and the day is bright. You can see Mount Fuji. Yes, Dear Passengers, Mount Fuji, the great Volcano Fujiyama.”
It was great. I regretted not carrying my camera in the hand-baggage. This one view had made me forget all about the racist pig, within seconds.
-TWO-
Rest of the flight was wonderful, with the exception of the lousy lunch served in between.
I was thanking God for providing me with a nice and heavy dinner in the previous night.
Thirty minutes before landing at Tokyo, there was an announcement from the pilot. “Dear passengers, please look through the windows on the left. The weather is good and the day is bright. You can see Mount Fuji. Yes, Dear Passengers, Mount Fuji, the great Volcano Fujiyama.”
It was great. I regretted not carrying my camera in the hand-baggage. This one view had made me forget all about the racist pig, within seconds.
-TWO-
It’s been more than a couple of months now that I’ve landed in Tokyo. I had come here with a fairly skeptical mind as many of my friends and relatives had warned me about the communication problem, weird food and racial discrimination towards ‘Gaijins’ (foreigners) of the Japanese. They doubted if at all I would be able to survive in Japan for too long.
And, boy, how wrong they were! Let me explain.
Within five minutes of stepping out of the flight, I had lost my way in the huge Narita Airport. The only person I could spot nearby was a Japanese girl wearing Airport Staff’s uniform. I remembered that they don’t understand English so I was thinking about inventing some gestures to ask her directions to the immigration check counter. I held out my passport to her and pointed towards the visa stamped page. She looked at it, then looked at my face, then smiled sweetly and said in Queen’s English “Walk straight and take the right escalator down, Sir. The immigration desk is on the right after two blocks”.
I tried to smile and not to look embarrassed (and I’m sure I was looking like a fool), thanked her and started walking.
The immigration and customs officials didn’t know a word in English but they knew their jobs quite well so there wasn’t much of a problem there. I wonder if there are such well-behaved and jolly customs officials in any other country.
Thanks to the conversation between Uma Thurman and Sonny Chiba in Kill Bill Part 1, I already knew ‘Thanks’ in Japanese was ‘arigatou’ , and ‘Good Afternoon’ was ‘Konnichiwa’. By the time I collected my luggage and came out to the Airport Limousine Bus ticket counter, I had enriched my Japanese vocabulary. I had learnt ‘arigatou gozaimas’ meant ‘Thank you very much’.
The ride on the Airport Limousine bus itself was quite enjoyable. There are smartly dressed, English speaking boys and girls at the bus stop outside Narita to load the luggage in the locker of the bus and then to unload them at every stop. Not really the kind of job jeans and cargo clad teenagers would want to do in any other country.
I reached a pre-decided point near Shinagawa Prince Hotel and got off the limousine.
I called a taxi. A uniformed guard standing at the gate of the hotel came forward to help me carry my heavy luggage to the taxi which was about fifteen meters away. I was in a dilemma now. It felt awkward to be helped by the guard of a huge hotel in which I’m damn sure I would never ever get to stay in my entire lifetime. The minimum currency I had in my pocket was the Ten Thousand Yen note and it was too large a sum to tip someone with. I thought of asking the cab driver for some change. The guard took the heaviest suitcase and put it in the back of the taxi, bowed to me, waved goodbye and went back, without even asking for tips.
The cab driver asked me something in Japanese and I assumed he was asking where I wanted to go. As per my colleagues’ instructions I handed over the printout I had taken in my office in Bangalore two days back. It contained a Japanese map to my accommodation in Tokyo, totally Greek to me but easily understandable to the Tokyo cab drivers, every one of whom has a GPS system installed in his taxi. I didn’t have to utter a word after that and he dropped me right inside the complex I was supposed to be in and left.
Still I was not sure which direction to move to as all buildings around me were identical. It was when I spotted a lady coming out of one building with a tiny animal which I had mistaken to be some kind of a cat but actually turned out to be a dog. I went up to her, bowed and asked “Excuse me, ma’m, can you guide me to this address please?” I held out the map to her. She had a long look at it and suddenly said “Hi”.
I smiled and replied “Hi”.
She said “Hi, hi.”
I again said “Hi.”
She gave me a strange look. I knew I had made some foolish mistake again.
All of a sudden she started laughing aloud and made a hand gesture to suggest I should follow her into the building. I dragged my entire luggage and followed her. She took me to the elevator lobby and pointed to the button ‘8’. I understood that I had to go to the eighth floor. I thanked her thinking she would want to go now. But I was wrong. Only after she was sure that I had reached the flat I was supposed to reach, she gave me lots of advices in her language and left. I didn’t understand a word of it but bowed to her and said “arigatou gozaimas” when she was leaving. Her pet had followed us all the way to my flat and now it followed her on her way back too.
The guy I was to share the flat with was supposed to be waiting for me but he wasn’t there so I collected the keys from the mailbox (as instructed by my colleagues) and entered the flat. At least I won’t have to cook now, I thought. Because the guy had sent me an email asking me to bring a pressure cooker and saying he would keep dinner ready as I would be reaching after 11 p.m.
The flat was a total mess with cockroaches and ants all over. I had never seen a dirtier place than that. I noticed there were two bedrooms and the neater and cleaner one had no sheets on the cot, also the cupboard was empty. So I presumed that to be my bedroom and took my luggage in. It was then that my flat-mate entered.
“Hey man!” were his first words.
“Hey."
We shook hands.
"Any trouble reaching here?" asked he.
"Not at all. Hey, I need to ask you one question - what does ‘hi’ mean in Japanese?”
“What? Hi? Okay, Haai. In Japanese ‘haai’ means ‘yes’. Why?”
“Just asking. Thanks”
“Did you bring the pressure cooker I asked you to? Mine isn’t working”
“Yes but I have to unpack it. I’ll do it tomorrow. Let’s have dinner now. I’m too exhausted.”
“No man, unpack it now. I was waiting for it and haven’t even cooked dinner. Can you cook?”
“I manage to make a few things sometimes.”
“Good. Change quickly and cook something. I’m hungry.”
“I beg your pardon!”
“I can’t cook anything but rice and omelet so you have to do the cooking.”
I wasn’t in a position to argue so I said “I can’t stay dirty. I’ll take a bath and come.”
“Why are you taking a bath now? You'll again take a bath in the morning, right? Then do it tomorrow only. Use water judiciously, man.”
“You don’t use water at all it seems from the look of you and the flat.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Listen, I can’t unpack the pressure cooker now. Nor can I cook now. I have a pack of maggi with me. It’ll be sufficient for me. You can cook for yourself if you want.”
“What? Okay we can share the maggi.”
It’s not that I’m a mean person but I was so pissed off with this irritatingly shameless creature that I wanted to be as mean as possible to him.
“Nope, dude. We can’t. It’s just a small packet of maggi.”
“You should have brought two, man because you knew there would be a roomie waiting for you.”
It was too much for me to digest now. I retorted “Well, first thing, I also knew that the same roomie would keep dinner ready and second, nobody was waiting for me. I came here all alone. I don’t expect anybody to wait or cook food for me. It wasn’t me who suggested you’d cook for both of us. So I’m afraid you’d have to manage with rice and omelet again tonight.”
“But my pressure cooker isn’t working.”
“To make a pressure cooker work properly you have to clean it after use, dude. I’ve never seen a dark brown Hawkins in my life before this.” I pointed towards the object on the kitchen shelf. “Judicious use of water, indeed.”
I took a long shower, changed into home clothes and ate maggi. My bedroom was neat and clean because on the previous day my company had sent cleaners to clean it up. The rest of the flat was dirty like hell. I felt some relief after shutting the bedroom door and separating myself from the rest of the flat.
The first mail I sent out at office in the next morning was to the housing department of my company, asking them to shift me to a more hygienic apartment with possibly a tidy flat-mate or no flat-mate at all. I had copied the mail to the HR-Head as well. Luckily for me, they took it seriously and instructed me to move to another flat in the same complex two days later.
“What? Hi? Okay, Haai. In Japanese ‘haai’ means ‘yes’. Why?”
“Just asking. Thanks”
“Did you bring the pressure cooker I asked you to? Mine isn’t working”
“Yes but I have to unpack it. I’ll do it tomorrow. Let’s have dinner now. I’m too exhausted.”
“No man, unpack it now. I was waiting for it and haven’t even cooked dinner. Can you cook?”
“I manage to make a few things sometimes.”
“Good. Change quickly and cook something. I’m hungry.”
“I beg your pardon!”
“I can’t cook anything but rice and omelet so you have to do the cooking.”
I wasn’t in a position to argue so I said “I can’t stay dirty. I’ll take a bath and come.”
“Why are you taking a bath now? You'll again take a bath in the morning, right? Then do it tomorrow only. Use water judiciously, man.”
“You don’t use water at all it seems from the look of you and the flat.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Listen, I can’t unpack the pressure cooker now. Nor can I cook now. I have a pack of maggi with me. It’ll be sufficient for me. You can cook for yourself if you want.”
“What? Okay we can share the maggi.”
It’s not that I’m a mean person but I was so pissed off with this irritatingly shameless creature that I wanted to be as mean as possible to him.
“Nope, dude. We can’t. It’s just a small packet of maggi.”
“You should have brought two, man because you knew there would be a roomie waiting for you.”
It was too much for me to digest now. I retorted “Well, first thing, I also knew that the same roomie would keep dinner ready and second, nobody was waiting for me. I came here all alone. I don’t expect anybody to wait or cook food for me. It wasn’t me who suggested you’d cook for both of us. So I’m afraid you’d have to manage with rice and omelet again tonight.”
“But my pressure cooker isn’t working.”
“To make a pressure cooker work properly you have to clean it after use, dude. I’ve never seen a dark brown Hawkins in my life before this.” I pointed towards the object on the kitchen shelf. “Judicious use of water, indeed.”
I took a long shower, changed into home clothes and ate maggi. My bedroom was neat and clean because on the previous day my company had sent cleaners to clean it up. The rest of the flat was dirty like hell. I felt some relief after shutting the bedroom door and separating myself from the rest of the flat.
The first mail I sent out at office in the next morning was to the housing department of my company, asking them to shift me to a more hygienic apartment with possibly a tidy flat-mate or no flat-mate at all. I had copied the mail to the HR-Head as well. Luckily for me, they took it seriously and instructed me to move to another flat in the same complex two days later.
-THREE-
Old people in Japan are possibly the happiest, jolliest and most active in the world. They spend their time roaming around, laughing, chatting, partying, smoking, drinking and most importantly exercising. Retired aged gentlemen keep their own housing societies clean. Every morning when younger people (including us, foreigners) from all directions rush towards the Railway Station to catch the trains to their respective offices, a group of old men, in the age range of 60-80 clean the roads, pavements, parking places, even elevarors with brooms and mops. They are all dressed in light blue T-shirts, white trousers and sneakers. They wish everybody passing them a very good morning "O-hai-o gozaimas".
…..To be continued.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
''I'm Sorry'' Poem - 1
I’m sorry
I screwed up
Like a scrap of paper
Screwed into a ball
But if you unfolded it
You’d find the words
"I’m sorry"
On every line of it ...
I’m sorry
I screwed up
Like a scrap of paper
Screwed into a ball
But if you unfolded it
You’d find the words
"I’m sorry"
On every line of it ...
''I'm Sorry'' Poem - 2
Sorry is a funny word
That rarely makes us laugh
It’s there to heal a painful hurt
That aches in someone’s heart
Right now I feel the need to say
I’m sorry I hurt you
If I could somehow heal your pain
That’s all I’d want to do ...
''I'm Sorry'' Poem - 3
How can I say sorry
When each word I say
Makes you angrier
And pushes me away
How can I say sorry
Without being there
Maybe through these lines
You’ll realise I care ...
How can I say sorry
When each word I say
Makes you angrier
And pushes me away
How can I say sorry
Without being there
Maybe through these lines
You’ll realise I care ...
''I'm Sorry'' Poem - 4
I’m sorry I am such a fool
A clumsy oaf
A stubborn mule
I’m sorry that I didn’t think
About your pain
So near the brink
Of something you could barely stand
Forgive me please
Just take my hand ...
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous
WHERE THE HELL DOES MY TAX GO?
1 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Wednesday, June 20, 2007 at 2:35 PM.
Well, it was only after I ended up paying a huge amount of Income Tax in the last fiscal (2006-2007), I realized it was high time we, the tax-payers in India got a much clearer picture of what exactly our taxes are contributing to.
Some investigation on Google, as well as what I had known previously make me strongly believe that taxes, the increasingly gigantic portion of our hard-earned money get used in these ways. Please help me add to the list below.
True, there are areas for which we HAVE TO pay our due taxes as Indian citizens but there are things we pay for which in no way are our liabilities. Why should we be burdened with those taxes?
I have used bold fonts for the areas we SHOULD NOT BE CHARGED FOR at all. Why the heck should we pay for them?
DEFENCE (Army, navy and Air Force)
1. Training, Recruiting, Maintaining, Paying, Rewarding (in case of achievements) and Compensating (in case of demise or limb-loss)the defense personnel.
2. Buying and manufacturing machineries and weapons, aircrafts and helicopters, ships etc.
3. Maintaining a huge army-base at sensitive areas like LOC, Arunachal etc.
4. Security arrangements for Politicians. More controversial the politician, tighter the security.
SPORTS
1. Ministers visiting foreign countries to take inputs from them and improve the conditions of Infrastructure for sports in India. For example, Priya Ranjan Das Munshi visiting foreign countries to improve Indian Football. Especially whenever there is a World Cup or a Euro Cup, he will definitely be there with his team of legislators to collect 'valuable inputs' from European as well as Latin American Football federations.
2. Frequent foreign-tours by IOC (Indian Olympic Council) members to learn the mystery of doing well in the 'next olympic'. Results : No medal in 1984,1988,1992 ; one bronze medal each in 1996 and 2000; and one silver medal in 2004. Marked improvement, huh?
Education & Technology
1. In spite of the fact that India is doing quite fine in the Information Technology sectors, some 200 Karnataka legislators are planning to visit China to learn a thing or two of IT from them. The minimum estimated cost of their travel would be more than 5 crores. What the heck these politicians know of IT? How the hell are they supposed to understand anything? Not very long ago, the big boss of Indian IT, N.R.Narayanamurthy had publicly told that despite its rapid growth in IT sector, China still is lagging behind India in this field.
2. Grants and financial aid to Government schools and colleges but not . As long as the Indians in general are being benefitted from it, we don't have any issue paying for them but when everything in this country is quota-based, WHY CHARGE GENERAL CATEGORY PEOPLE FOR THE SO CALLED 'UPLIFTMENT' OF SC/ST/OBC-CATEGORY PEOPLE? It's the Government who wants the quota system, not the General-category people. Therefore, the Government only should pay for it, right?
OTHERS
1. Posh bungalows and sleek cars for ministers. WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THEM?
2. Five-star-hotel-like treatment of politicians and ministers everywhere, round-the-clock. WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THEM?
3. Changing the names of cities every now and then. Bombay to Mumbai, Madras to Chennai, Calcutta to kolkata, Bangalore to Bengaluroo and all cities-in-Karnataka to all-cities-in-Karnataka-luroo. This may sound simple but does come for a high price.
And who else but the tax-payers have to bear that?
4. Unnecessary moral policing. Censorship in movies, media, even internet. Are the Indians in general complaining? Are they demanding censorship? Why does the Government have to be so pro-active in doing these then?
I will keep adding to this list from time to time. I've just highlighted the liabilities we tax-payers could do without.
In my opinion (and I believe it's not 'only' my opinion), we the tax-payers should be given an option to choose where we want to see our hard-earned money go. The Government should let the non-highlighted ones remain compulsory but the tax-payers must have the right to choose which of the highlighted ones they want to pay for, if at all that is.
New points, suggestions and views are most welcome.
Some investigation on Google, as well as what I had known previously make me strongly believe that taxes, the increasingly gigantic portion of our hard-earned money get used in these ways. Please help me add to the list below.
True, there are areas for which we HAVE TO pay our due taxes as Indian citizens but there are things we pay for which in no way are our liabilities. Why should we be burdened with those taxes?
I have used bold fonts for the areas we SHOULD NOT BE CHARGED FOR at all. Why the heck should we pay for them?
DEFENCE (Army, navy and Air Force)
1. Training, Recruiting, Maintaining, Paying, Rewarding (in case of achievements) and Compensating (in case of demise or limb-loss)the defense personnel.
2. Buying and manufacturing machineries and weapons, aircrafts and helicopters, ships etc.
3. Maintaining a huge army-base at sensitive areas like LOC, Arunachal etc.
4. Security arrangements for Politicians. More controversial the politician, tighter the security.
SPORTS
1. Ministers visiting foreign countries to take inputs from them and improve the conditions of Infrastructure for sports in India. For example, Priya Ranjan Das Munshi visiting foreign countries to improve Indian Football. Especially whenever there is a World Cup or a Euro Cup, he will definitely be there with his team of legislators to collect 'valuable inputs' from European as well as Latin American Football federations.
2. Frequent foreign-tours by IOC (Indian Olympic Council) members to learn the mystery of doing well in the 'next olympic'. Results : No medal in 1984,1988,1992 ; one bronze medal each in 1996 and 2000; and one silver medal in 2004. Marked improvement, huh?
Education & Technology
1. In spite of the fact that India is doing quite fine in the Information Technology sectors, some 200 Karnataka legislators are planning to visit China to learn a thing or two of IT from them. The minimum estimated cost of their travel would be more than 5 crores. What the heck these politicians know of IT? How the hell are they supposed to understand anything? Not very long ago, the big boss of Indian IT, N.R.Narayanamurthy had publicly told that despite its rapid growth in IT sector, China still is lagging behind India in this field.
2. Grants and financial aid to Government schools and colleges but not . As long as the Indians in general are being benefitted from it, we don't have any issue paying for them but when everything in this country is quota-based, WHY CHARGE GENERAL CATEGORY PEOPLE FOR THE SO CALLED 'UPLIFTMENT' OF SC/ST/OBC-CATEGORY PEOPLE? It's the Government who wants the quota system, not the General-category people. Therefore, the Government only should pay for it, right?
OTHERS
1. Posh bungalows and sleek cars for ministers. WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THEM?
2. Five-star-hotel-like treatment of politicians and ministers everywhere, round-the-clock. WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR THEM?
3. Changing the names of cities every now and then. Bombay to Mumbai, Madras to Chennai, Calcutta to kolkata, Bangalore to Bengaluroo and all cities-in-Karnataka to all-cities-in-Karnataka-luroo. This may sound simple but does come for a high price.
And who else but the tax-payers have to bear that?
4. Unnecessary moral policing. Censorship in movies, media, even internet. Are the Indians in general complaining? Are they demanding censorship? Why does the Government have to be so pro-active in doing these then?
I will keep adding to this list from time to time. I've just highlighted the liabilities we tax-payers could do without.
In my opinion (and I believe it's not 'only' my opinion), we the tax-payers should be given an option to choose where we want to see our hard-earned money go. The Government should let the non-highlighted ones remain compulsory but the tax-payers must have the right to choose which of the highlighted ones they want to pay for, if at all that is.
New points, suggestions and views are most welcome.
Labels: Bangalore, Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Is this bloody thing called Hinduism?
3 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 9:07 AM.
I don't know much about any religion, not even my own. I was born and brought up in a somewhat traditional yet moderately liberal Hindu family where everyone worships multiple Gods and Goddesses at least twice everyday by lighting agarbattis and diyas and offering flowers and sweets but no one looks down upon people belonging to another religion/caste.
I just came across something which I don't know is true or not, whether there is any evidence of this being true or not, because I never ever have read the Vedas or the Hindu-Shastras.
This is what I am talking about. If this dirty bloody thing about Hinduism or Hindutva is true, then what do the Shiv Sena, the Banjrang Dal, the VHP and the like make so much fuss about? What's the big deal about being a Hindu then? Instead, one belonging to a religion which allows such repulsive acts should actually feel ashamed.
I just came across something which I don't know is true or not, whether there is any evidence of this being true or not, because I never ever have read the Vedas or the Hindu-Shastras.
This is what I am talking about. If this dirty bloody thing about Hinduism or Hindutva is true, then what do the Shiv Sena, the Banjrang Dal, the VHP and the like make so much fuss about? What's the big deal about being a Hindu then? Instead, one belonging to a religion which allows such repulsive acts should actually feel ashamed.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Weird Weird South...
1 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 at 10:52 AM.
Weird Weird South ...
Picture Courtesy ...
I have a friend whose name is Suchitra Pradhan.
She recently joined a new company in Bangalore.
On her first day in office she saw her name in the attendance register as Suchithra Pradhan. She at first thought it was just a typing error but when after two days she got her official email id as suchithra.pradhan@xxyyzz.com, she went to the HR(Hyeitch-aaar)people and complained. They denied making any mistake on their part and said it was Suchitra who had spelt her name wrong in the joining form and hence all this happened. Upon being asked to show her the form, they gave it to her. Looking at it she was horrified as she saw someone has added the extra 'h' in her name in the form itself with red ink, as if to do a spelling correction.
However, she showed this unique example of voluntary service to the HR people and was assured that it would be corrected immediately.
On the very next day, when Suchitra Pradhan went back to office, it was Suchitra Prabha N in the attendance register.
She ran again to the HR department and they once again assured her that it would be corrected. So it was. On the subsequent day it became Suchithra Prabha N.
Furious, she stormed into the HR-room and threw the attendance register on the table.
Finally her name appeared correctly in the attendance register after eight days.
I don't know if she has got a correct official email id yet.
Picture Courtesy ...
I have a friend whose name is Suchitra Pradhan.
She recently joined a new company in Bangalore.
On her first day in office she saw her name in the attendance register as Suchithra Pradhan. She at first thought it was just a typing error but when after two days she got her official email id as suchithra.pradhan@xxyyzz.com, she went to the HR(Hyeitch-aaar)people and complained. They denied making any mistake on their part and said it was Suchitra who had spelt her name wrong in the joining form and hence all this happened. Upon being asked to show her the form, they gave it to her. Looking at it she was horrified as she saw someone has added the extra 'h' in her name in the form itself with red ink, as if to do a spelling correction.
However, she showed this unique example of voluntary service to the HR people and was assured that it would be corrected immediately.
On the very next day, when Suchitra Pradhan went back to office, it was Suchitra Prabha N in the attendance register.
She ran again to the HR department and they once again assured her that it would be corrected. So it was. On the subsequent day it became Suchithra Prabha N.
Furious, she stormed into the HR-room and threw the attendance register on the table.
Finally her name appeared correctly in the attendance register after eight days.
I don't know if she has got a correct official email id yet.
Labels: Bangalore, Fun, Miscellaneous, serious, South India
Engliss ij a phunny language
5 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 at 10:02 AM.
Look at this image.
I don't know any of the people present in this photograph. Just happened to come across this snap in a public portal.
The girl (highlighted) has a message written on her T-shirt.
Look at the T-shirt closely.
Well, this is an old saying "NOT All GUYS ARE FOOLS. SOME STAY BACHELORS."
Here, in this girl's T-shirt only the word 'GUYS' has been replaced by 'GIRLS'.
Now, the girl looks pretty modern and smart and presumably has been to a good school. Then how could she possibly do this silly mistake? Can a girl ever be a 'bachelor'? The word 'bachelor' can be associated with a guy only. An unmarried girl is a 'spinster' or as Shreemoyee had said, a 'bachelorette'.
True, Engliss ij a phunny language.
Moral of the story : Girls are better off not to be imitating guys. It may sometimes produce embarrassing results.
I don't know any of the people present in this photograph. Just happened to come across this snap in a public portal.
The girl (highlighted) has a message written on her T-shirt.
Look at the T-shirt closely.
Well, this is an old saying "NOT All GUYS ARE FOOLS. SOME STAY BACHELORS."
Here, in this girl's T-shirt only the word 'GUYS' has been replaced by 'GIRLS'.
Now, the girl looks pretty modern and smart and presumably has been to a good school. Then how could she possibly do this silly mistake? Can a girl ever be a 'bachelor'? The word 'bachelor' can be associated with a guy only. An unmarried girl is a 'spinster' or as Shreemoyee had said, a 'bachelorette'.
True, Engliss ij a phunny language.
Moral of the story : Girls are better off not to be imitating guys. It may sometimes produce embarrassing results.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
A spoilt brat's life : Upside Down
2 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Thursday, August 31, 2006 at 3:28 PM.
Not so long ago there was a very very rich man and there was the 10th of his 22 legitimate wives. She gave birth to the 17th of his at least 54 children, a boy.
He was only six years old when this mishap took place : his dad, the very very rich man , was killed when his company airplane, a Beechcraft flown by James Harrington, a pilot employed by the Central Intelligence Agency and who had the rank of colonel in the US Air Force, crashed during landing at Hamis Musayt, in southwest Saudi Arabia.
As time passed by the boy grew up to be nothing but just another arrogant spoilt brat of a very very rich father who used to go on vacations in European countries with his numerous siblings.
Not a bad idea, posing with the whole brigade with a Mercedes in front of a camera - Be it Colour or simply Black & White.
This fellow went to Oxford as well.
He seemed to be pretty happy and comfortable with the West. He had adopted the Western Lifestyle to perfection.
Then on one fine day, he met Halla Hulla Heeba Heeba Biyan Jiyan Saleh, the saint.
The deep international conspiracy behind his father's death, masterminded by the Yankees, which so far was kept a secret to him, got unveiled by the saint.
Our young man, from that moment on, decided to take on the Western World. After all, it was the Yankees who had a role to play in his beloved father's sad demise.
He grew up to be a man who orchestrated huge gloval events like THIS without even making any physical appearance on the spot, sitting in the caves of Afghanistan.
The whole world, including Google's definition of failure, has become wary of what he is and what he can do.
The life of the SPOILT YOUNG BRAT has turned upside down, thanks to his chance encounter with the Saint.
Indeed, a meeting can change a life.
He was only six years old when this mishap took place : his dad, the very very rich man , was killed when his company airplane, a Beechcraft flown by James Harrington, a pilot employed by the Central Intelligence Agency and who had the rank of colonel in the US Air Force, crashed during landing at Hamis Musayt, in southwest Saudi Arabia.
As time passed by the boy grew up to be nothing but just another arrogant spoilt brat of a very very rich father who used to go on vacations in European countries with his numerous siblings.
Not a bad idea, posing with the whole brigade with a Mercedes in front of a camera - Be it Colour or simply Black & White.
This fellow went to Oxford as well.
He seemed to be pretty happy and comfortable with the West. He had adopted the Western Lifestyle to perfection.
Then on one fine day, he met Halla Hulla Heeba Heeba Biyan Jiyan Saleh, the saint.
The deep international conspiracy behind his father's death, masterminded by the Yankees, which so far was kept a secret to him, got unveiled by the saint.
Our young man, from that moment on, decided to take on the Western World. After all, it was the Yankees who had a role to play in his beloved father's sad demise.
He grew up to be a man who orchestrated huge gloval events like THIS without even making any physical appearance on the spot, sitting in the caves of Afghanistan.
The whole world, including Google's definition of failure, has become wary of what he is and what he can do.
The life of the SPOILT YOUNG BRAT has turned upside down, thanks to his chance encounter with the Saint.
Indeed, a meeting can change a life.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Caution : Link may contain material inappropriate for certain age-groups, although it's completely non-pornographic. Viewer discretion required.
Look in Here.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
In the whole of India we drive on the left of the road
BUT
IN BANGALORE WE DRIVE ON "WHAT" IS LEFT ON THE ROAD !!!!
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Welcome to India, Al Qaeda !!!
0 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Friday, July 14, 2006 at 10:30 AM.
Great!!!
Finally Al Qaeda has arrived in India physically.
So far they had been carrying out their operations by outsourcing jobs to lesser known local vendors like Lashkar-E-Toiba , SIMI and Jaish-E-Mohammed.
As a matter of fact they were one of the very first organizations to have outsourced some of their work to Indians.
Now they have decided to take charge on their own.
What remains to be seen is how the physical presence of Al Qaeda is going to affect India and Indians.
After one IT (Information Technology) boom it’s going to be another IT (Indian Terrorism) boom for sure.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed to see how and from where they start off.
Many of us can very appropriately conclude that our days are numbered unless of course, the embryo of Al Qaeda India is destroyed before the birth.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Heading his way - in the wrong direction.
0 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 at 5:45 PM.
Terrorism is a problem. A Global problem.
Best solution to any problem : just identify the root of the problem and destroy it in order to get rid of the problem permanently.
Starting from where Gujarat ends, up to the border from which Israel begins…… Do continuous carpet bombing for a few weeks……the amount of worldwide terrorism will come down drastically ( by 80-90 %). Laden, Dawood, Omar,Masood, Mazhar all will be Annihilated.
And as far as the remaining 10-20 % is concerned, that can be dealt with much ease after the root is gone.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Does Netaji deserve this?
0 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 at 3:58 PM.
More than 60 years after his 'controversial death', when one by one the interesting truths have started coming out (see this site...), thanks to the Mukherjee Commission and Mr Anuj Dhar in particular for the initiatives taken in this issue,
some psychotic moron(s), pathetic bastard(s) show(s) the audacity to call Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose a 'traitor'.See here ...
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Movie Review : Rang De Basanti
6 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 at 11:13 AM.
I hadn't been getting enough free time for movies of late and hence was a bit late in watching this flick "Rang De Basanti" finally last night although it was released three weeks back.
The number one reason I went to watch this movie was of course, Aamir Khan and number two, A.R.Rahman - two of my all time favourites.
Frankly speaking I didn't have very high expectations from the Director, Mr Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra as I was really disappointed with his way of storytelling in his previous movie 'Aks' although it was technically one of the very best movies ever made by an Indian. RDB, too, I knew would be technically outstanding but I wasn't too sure about the screenplay and editing.
Lights off, doors closed, pin-drop silence and the movie begins presenting an all new fresh face , the face of Alice Patten , before the audience and, my! she takes everyone's heart away rightaway. With her innocent looks and broken yet very well-engineered Hindi dialogues, in the shoes of the character of a British aspiring filmmaker 'Sue' she rocks. She just ROCKS !!!
Sue's grandfather was a jailor in India in the pre-independence era when young freedom fighters accepted death with smiling faces. So amazed was he that he wrote in his diary "I thought there were two types of people. Ones who die quietly and ones who die screaming. Here I met a third kind....". After reding his experiences in India at that times Sue comes to India to shoot a documentary on Shaheed Bhagat Singh and his contemporaries. Searching frantically for people to suit the roles she happens to meet a group of friends in the Delhi University through her friend Sonia (Soha Ali Khan Pataudi) who is the only girl in the group, the other members being Karan Singhania (Siddharth), Daljeet Singh aka DJ (Aaamir Khan), Aslam (Kunal Kapoor),Sukhi(Sharman Joshi) and Lakshman Pandit (Atul Kulkarni). She could see the characters of her movie in these people and after a lot of hue and cry convinces them to act for her. DJ,meanwhile,develops a soft-corner for Sue.
R.Madhavan looks pretty impressive in his brief guest appearance as Sonia's boyfriend Flight Lieutenant Ajai Singh Rathore who dies in a MIG plane crash and the Defense Minister (Mohan Agashe)tells the public and the media that it happened due to his own inadequate flying skills whereas the truth was that it was due to the use of sub-standard and low-cost machinery in the MIG flights. This awakens the true Indian in everybody in the group. So far they were so engrossed in their own worlds inside the campus that they didn't even bother what was happening in the outer world. This whole incident made them aware of their very existence and they decide to go on a protest demanding the resignation of the corrupt Defense Minister which gets disrupted as the Minister and his party call for Police intervention and the cops just beat away all protestors, injuring many of them and sending Madhavan's mother Waheeda Rahman to comma. After all this, DJ and his group decide to finally take the Bhagat Singh route and kill the corrupt Minister. After they accomplished this mission, they go on further to let the people of the country know through all India Radio about this by announcing what they have done and why.
It would be an understatement if I say Siddharth has done full justice to his role as Karan. He probably outshone everyone who shared the screen with him. Although it was just his first movie in Hindi, he showed no signs of tentativeness. In fact, at times, he just stole the show even with the sheer screen-presence of Aamir Khan. There couldn't have been any other actor to suit the role so perfectly. Full marks to Siddharth.
Alice Patten does her job wonderfully well and her gentleness only makes the Character of Sue all the more lovable.
Aamir, as usual, is brilliant. Especially in the comedy part when he tries to woo Sue and again when in anguish, frustration and desparation he breaks down at the dinner table with food in his mouth.
Soha did a reasonably good job as Sonia, the bereaved fiance of Madhavan. She is maturing as an actress with every movie.
Atul Kulkarni portrays the character of Lakshman Pandit, a wannabe politician to perfection. He delivers exactly what was expected of an actor of his calibre.
As far as Sharman Joshi is concerned, considering the way his acting career has been shaping up lately, he couldn't have asked for a better role at this point of time. And when the opprtunity came he grabbed it with both hands. He has done beyond everyone's expectations as Sukhi. Good Job, Sharman.
Kunal Kapoor, looks pretty convincing as soft-spoken Aslam and does justice to the role.
Mohan Agashe, although he plays the main villain, his acting prowess has been, in a word, underutilized. Same happens with Om Puri's and Anupam Kher's roles as well.
Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra does wonderfully well as the director. Three cheers to him.
No technical flaw at all. Absolutely nothing....except, er.....the Defense minister of a country being shot in broad daylight with almost no security guards and commandos.
Don't really need to say anything about A.R.Rahman, the Superman. His work speaks for itself. Pathshala, Ru-ba-ru, the title track, khali bali - he has composed every score to the perfection.
And, last but not the least, amazing piece of cinematography by Binod Pradhan. The man with the magic camera has done it yet again. He really deseves a standing ovation for this.
To sum it up, RDB is a must watch for every Indian, especially the confused young generation of today's India.
PS*** After Kamal Hasan's 'Sadma' I don't really remember I had felt tears rolling down my cheeks while watching a movie.....till I watched RDB.
Verdict : Sahi mein rang diya
The number one reason I went to watch this movie was of course, Aamir Khan and number two, A.R.Rahman - two of my all time favourites.
Frankly speaking I didn't have very high expectations from the Director, Mr Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra as I was really disappointed with his way of storytelling in his previous movie 'Aks' although it was technically one of the very best movies ever made by an Indian. RDB, too, I knew would be technically outstanding but I wasn't too sure about the screenplay and editing.
Lights off, doors closed, pin-drop silence and the movie begins presenting an all new fresh face , the face of Alice Patten , before the audience and, my! she takes everyone's heart away rightaway. With her innocent looks and broken yet very well-engineered Hindi dialogues, in the shoes of the character of a British aspiring filmmaker 'Sue' she rocks. She just ROCKS !!!
Sue's grandfather was a jailor in India in the pre-independence era when young freedom fighters accepted death with smiling faces. So amazed was he that he wrote in his diary "I thought there were two types of people. Ones who die quietly and ones who die screaming. Here I met a third kind....". After reding his experiences in India at that times Sue comes to India to shoot a documentary on Shaheed Bhagat Singh and his contemporaries. Searching frantically for people to suit the roles she happens to meet a group of friends in the Delhi University through her friend Sonia (Soha Ali Khan Pataudi) who is the only girl in the group, the other members being Karan Singhania (Siddharth), Daljeet Singh aka DJ (Aaamir Khan), Aslam (Kunal Kapoor),Sukhi(Sharman Joshi) and Lakshman Pandit (Atul Kulkarni). She could see the characters of her movie in these people and after a lot of hue and cry convinces them to act for her. DJ,meanwhile,develops a soft-corner for Sue.
R.Madhavan looks pretty impressive in his brief guest appearance as Sonia's boyfriend Flight Lieutenant Ajai Singh Rathore who dies in a MIG plane crash and the Defense Minister (Mohan Agashe)tells the public and the media that it happened due to his own inadequate flying skills whereas the truth was that it was due to the use of sub-standard and low-cost machinery in the MIG flights. This awakens the true Indian in everybody in the group. So far they were so engrossed in their own worlds inside the campus that they didn't even bother what was happening in the outer world. This whole incident made them aware of their very existence and they decide to go on a protest demanding the resignation of the corrupt Defense Minister which gets disrupted as the Minister and his party call for Police intervention and the cops just beat away all protestors, injuring many of them and sending Madhavan's mother Waheeda Rahman to comma. After all this, DJ and his group decide to finally take the Bhagat Singh route and kill the corrupt Minister. After they accomplished this mission, they go on further to let the people of the country know through all India Radio about this by announcing what they have done and why.
It would be an understatement if I say Siddharth has done full justice to his role as Karan. He probably outshone everyone who shared the screen with him. Although it was just his first movie in Hindi, he showed no signs of tentativeness. In fact, at times, he just stole the show even with the sheer screen-presence of Aamir Khan. There couldn't have been any other actor to suit the role so perfectly. Full marks to Siddharth.
Alice Patten does her job wonderfully well and her gentleness only makes the Character of Sue all the more lovable.
Aamir, as usual, is brilliant. Especially in the comedy part when he tries to woo Sue and again when in anguish, frustration and desparation he breaks down at the dinner table with food in his mouth.
Soha did a reasonably good job as Sonia, the bereaved fiance of Madhavan. She is maturing as an actress with every movie.
Atul Kulkarni portrays the character of Lakshman Pandit, a wannabe politician to perfection. He delivers exactly what was expected of an actor of his calibre.
As far as Sharman Joshi is concerned, considering the way his acting career has been shaping up lately, he couldn't have asked for a better role at this point of time. And when the opprtunity came he grabbed it with both hands. He has done beyond everyone's expectations as Sukhi. Good Job, Sharman.
Kunal Kapoor, looks pretty convincing as soft-spoken Aslam and does justice to the role.
Mohan Agashe, although he plays the main villain, his acting prowess has been, in a word, underutilized. Same happens with Om Puri's and Anupam Kher's roles as well.
Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra does wonderfully well as the director. Three cheers to him.
No technical flaw at all. Absolutely nothing....except, er.....the Defense minister of a country being shot in broad daylight with almost no security guards and commandos.
Don't really need to say anything about A.R.Rahman, the Superman. His work speaks for itself. Pathshala, Ru-ba-ru, the title track, khali bali - he has composed every score to the perfection.
And, last but not the least, amazing piece of cinematography by Binod Pradhan. The man with the magic camera has done it yet again. He really deseves a standing ovation for this.
To sum it up, RDB is a must watch for every Indian, especially the confused young generation of today's India.
PS*** After Kamal Hasan's 'Sadma' I don't really remember I had felt tears rolling down my cheeks while watching a movie.....till I watched RDB.
Verdict : Sahi mein rang diya
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Bangalore : Bang- Galore :)
6 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Thursday, February 09, 2006 at 12:47 PM.
Here's yet another post on our good ol' Bangalore, that is, "nammu bengaluru" .
I wasn't here for the last 10 days. I was vacationing back home for this brief period. Yesterday I landed at the Bangalore airport exactly at 8:15 in the evening and after collecting my luggage I came out at around 8:30. The moment I came out with hundreds of other passengers coming from different cities, taxi-drivers started shouting "Taxi Taxi.....Where do you want to go, Sir?......Need a taxi, mam?.... Let me carry your bags, Sir, and please walk up to my taxi..." etc etc......
Usually, if booked over the phone beforehand, a taxi from the airport to my house in BTM Layout costs around 180 rupees. This time I hadn't made any bookings so I thought I would take one. The driver I waved at showed me a rate-chart which showed that the fare to BTM Layout is 450 Rupees.I laughed at him and said "Do this to people who are new in this place,dude...not to me. F*** off with your taxi. I don't need it." In reply to this he said "Toh aap paidal chale jaao sahab, yahan airport ke paas toh aap ko auto bhi nahi milega" (Then you better start walking, Sir, because here, near the airport, you won't even get an auto-rickshaw.)
I thought for one second....he might be right because in Bangalore if you can't get a taxi there is only one other means of transport you can avail - an auto-rickshaw and since I had never taken an auto-rickshaw on my way to BTM from the airport before I wasn't too sure whether or not I would get one. As a few more taxi-drivers came and supported what he said, I walked past the taxi-stand to the main road which is 10 minutes' walk from there.I could do so because, of course, I didn't have a lot of luggage with me. Then for the first time I could see a lot of auto-rickshaws in an auto-rickshaw stand a bit further down. I looked backe at the taxi-driver and muttered "Bunch of liars." He just smiled and went back looking for another potential goat for slaughtering.
The moment I reached the auto-stand some 50 auto-drivers came running to me and a couple of them started pulling my bag. I firmly held on to it and walked towards an auto. The driver, here also, took out a rate-list from his pocket and showed it to me. As per the list the fare to BTM was 170 rupees. I had never taken an auto from the airport to BTM before but had come from BTM to the airport many a times taking exactly the same route so I knew it costs anything between 45 and 50 rupees. I told the auto-driver "I don't want to go. You people have now started openly robbing people". He said "jaao sahab, yahan koi tumhe isse kam paise mein le ke nahi jayega. Yeh naya rule hai Bangalore ka. Airport ke bahar sab kuchh expensive hai. yakeen na aaye toh woh policewalon se poochh lo." (You may go if you want but nobody will take you for less money than this. this is the new rule in Bangalore. Everything is damn expensive near the airport. if you have doubts, you can ask the cops also.) It's not that I have a lot of trust on the bangalore police. I know that they are one of the most corrupt species on this earth. Still I walked up to two policemen standing nearby and asked whether what the auto-driver was telling me was right or not. The said it was and showed me some papers which supposedly contained this new set of rules but I couldn't understand anything as it was fully written in Kannada. I wasn't convinced at all and continued walking till I found one auto outside the stand. This driver agreed to take me to BTM for 1.5 times the meter-reading as it was already 9:00 at night. He was cheating me, I knew this....still I agreed as I was exhausted and it still was a lot more reasonable than what I had just seen. I know all the shortcuts to my place and I was guiding him accordingly but at one place where we should have taken the straight route he suddenly took a right-turn and when I asked why he said from last week the route I had suggested had been made a no-entry. I knew he was lying because even after taking a different route he would have to come back on the same road as from that junction there was only one single road leading to my place. Since I knew he had no other option but to take me back to that junction I kept quiet. then after travelling for around 5 extra kilometres (that is, 25 rupees) he took me back to the same place and got quite a mouthful from me. When I reached my place the meter-reading was 74 rupees. I gave him a 100-rupee note and waited. He said " 1.5 ke hisaab se 11 Rupaye aur do". (give me 11 rupees more as you are to pay me 1.5 times the meter-reading ).
I said "you made me travel 5 kms extra which cost me 25 rupees.The meter-reading is 74 rupees now. So actually it is 49 rupees. So you have already taken 1.5 times what I should actually pay you. Now give me my 26 rupees back."
He got furious and said "kisne kaha auto-wale ko direction dene ke liye? ek baar auto mein baitho to sab kuchh auto-walon par chhod do. thoda sa ghuma kya diya, tum paisa wapas maang rahe ho? agar hamesha shortcut routes lenge toh humara dhandha kaise chalega?" (who told you to give directions to an auto-driver? once you get into an auto, leave everything to the driver. Only little bit I made you travel extra and you are asking your money back for that? how will we survive if we always take shortcut routes ? ) But I wasn't to leave without my money so after a lot of hue and cry he called us, the IT-guys, a bunch of "north-Indian suar ke bachche" (North Indian piglets) and got one "Mohammad Ali"-ish blow from me on the face giving him a black-eye. Finally I let him go as he gave me back 20 rupees and showed that he didn't have any more change left.
Another fascinating evening in "Namma Bengaluru".
I wasn't here for the last 10 days. I was vacationing back home for this brief period. Yesterday I landed at the Bangalore airport exactly at 8:15 in the evening and after collecting my luggage I came out at around 8:30. The moment I came out with hundreds of other passengers coming from different cities, taxi-drivers started shouting "Taxi Taxi.....Where do you want to go, Sir?......Need a taxi, mam?.... Let me carry your bags, Sir, and please walk up to my taxi..." etc etc......
Usually, if booked over the phone beforehand, a taxi from the airport to my house in BTM Layout costs around 180 rupees. This time I hadn't made any bookings so I thought I would take one. The driver I waved at showed me a rate-chart which showed that the fare to BTM Layout is 450 Rupees.I laughed at him and said "Do this to people who are new in this place,dude...not to me. F*** off with your taxi. I don't need it." In reply to this he said "Toh aap paidal chale jaao sahab, yahan airport ke paas toh aap ko auto bhi nahi milega" (Then you better start walking, Sir, because here, near the airport, you won't even get an auto-rickshaw.)
I thought for one second....he might be right because in Bangalore if you can't get a taxi there is only one other means of transport you can avail - an auto-rickshaw and since I had never taken an auto-rickshaw on my way to BTM from the airport before I wasn't too sure whether or not I would get one. As a few more taxi-drivers came and supported what he said, I walked past the taxi-stand to the main road which is 10 minutes' walk from there.I could do so because, of course, I didn't have a lot of luggage with me. Then for the first time I could see a lot of auto-rickshaws in an auto-rickshaw stand a bit further down. I looked backe at the taxi-driver and muttered "Bunch of liars." He just smiled and went back looking for another potential goat for slaughtering.
The moment I reached the auto-stand some 50 auto-drivers came running to me and a couple of them started pulling my bag. I firmly held on to it and walked towards an auto. The driver, here also, took out a rate-list from his pocket and showed it to me. As per the list the fare to BTM was 170 rupees. I had never taken an auto from the airport to BTM before but had come from BTM to the airport many a times taking exactly the same route so I knew it costs anything between 45 and 50 rupees. I told the auto-driver "I don't want to go. You people have now started openly robbing people". He said "jaao sahab, yahan koi tumhe isse kam paise mein le ke nahi jayega. Yeh naya rule hai Bangalore ka. Airport ke bahar sab kuchh expensive hai. yakeen na aaye toh woh policewalon se poochh lo." (You may go if you want but nobody will take you for less money than this. this is the new rule in Bangalore. Everything is damn expensive near the airport. if you have doubts, you can ask the cops also.) It's not that I have a lot of trust on the bangalore police. I know that they are one of the most corrupt species on this earth. Still I walked up to two policemen standing nearby and asked whether what the auto-driver was telling me was right or not. The said it was and showed me some papers which supposedly contained this new set of rules but I couldn't understand anything as it was fully written in Kannada. I wasn't convinced at all and continued walking till I found one auto outside the stand. This driver agreed to take me to BTM for 1.5 times the meter-reading as it was already 9:00 at night. He was cheating me, I knew this....still I agreed as I was exhausted and it still was a lot more reasonable than what I had just seen. I know all the shortcuts to my place and I was guiding him accordingly but at one place where we should have taken the straight route he suddenly took a right-turn and when I asked why he said from last week the route I had suggested had been made a no-entry. I knew he was lying because even after taking a different route he would have to come back on the same road as from that junction there was only one single road leading to my place. Since I knew he had no other option but to take me back to that junction I kept quiet. then after travelling for around 5 extra kilometres (that is, 25 rupees) he took me back to the same place and got quite a mouthful from me. When I reached my place the meter-reading was 74 rupees. I gave him a 100-rupee note and waited. He said " 1.5 ke hisaab se 11 Rupaye aur do". (give me 11 rupees more as you are to pay me 1.5 times the meter-reading ).
I said "you made me travel 5 kms extra which cost me 25 rupees.The meter-reading is 74 rupees now. So actually it is 49 rupees. So you have already taken 1.5 times what I should actually pay you. Now give me my 26 rupees back."
He got furious and said "kisne kaha auto-wale ko direction dene ke liye? ek baar auto mein baitho to sab kuchh auto-walon par chhod do. thoda sa ghuma kya diya, tum paisa wapas maang rahe ho? agar hamesha shortcut routes lenge toh humara dhandha kaise chalega?" (who told you to give directions to an auto-driver? once you get into an auto, leave everything to the driver. Only little bit I made you travel extra and you are asking your money back for that? how will we survive if we always take shortcut routes ? ) But I wasn't to leave without my money so after a lot of hue and cry he called us, the IT-guys, a bunch of "north-Indian suar ke bachche" (North Indian piglets) and got one "Mohammad Ali"-ish blow from me on the face giving him a black-eye. Finally I let him go as he gave me back 20 rupees and showed that he didn't have any more change left.
Another fascinating evening in "Namma Bengaluru".
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
Suddenly remembered something weird
2 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 at 11:54 AM.
Yesterday all of a sudden I went a few years back down the memory lane. I had no reason to do so but then I had nothing more interesting or constructive to do as such in the evening either.
'R' was busy with work (and so she will be for the next three months as her working hours have changed from 7:00-15:00 to 15:00-23:00 hrs in the evening) so I didn't have anything to do or any company after leaving office. Hence I came home and put on some music and preferred to give in to the nostalgia while sipping on some vodka and smoking.
I remembered one of the weirdest things I had ever heard from anybody quite some time back (almost 7 years back).I was in the 12th standard then. There was this guy called 'X' and he was one of those very close friends of mine. We were in the same school, same class, same section. Once he was looking very gloomy. I noticed but thought may be it was one of those occasional mood swings everyone has from time to time and ignored. But he remained so for quite a few days. He was looking depressed, troubled,hurt. After more than a week passed, I couldn't help but ask him what it was. He hesitated for a moment and then said he too felt too suffocated from inside but it was something he wasn't sure whether he should share with somebody or not. I said if he didn't wan't to share it's fine but if he did then I was all game for giving him an ear and may be finding some way out of his distress. After that what he told me was probably the most shocking thing I had ever heard.
It was the time when The TV channel "TB6-Mockba" was being aired in India by the cable operators and within the first 2-3 months it was very popular as it had certain programmes for certain audiences at certain times. Early in the morning on sundays (as early as 2:00 a.m) they used to put episodes of "Playboy" on air and we suppressed, oppressed and therefore depressed Indian teenagers used to wait for that for the whole week. "X" was no exception either. For one month, i.e, four consecutive weeks he had watched four episodes of "Playboy" and with that his appetite for sex-education had only increased. Can't really blame him because it was quite natural for a 17-year-old guy.
He wanted more of it. But, on the fifth week, when he quietly got out of his bed and without making any sound, advanced towards the TV-Room, fully convinced that everybody else in his house was fast asleep, he saw the TV-light fluctuating in the TV-Room and he knew there was someone already there. He just peeped through the semi-opened door and saw his father staring at the TV-screen with an open mouth and eyes that weren't even blinking. He thought may be his dad wasn't feeling sleepy and that's why he had come to the TV-Room. But then he looked at the TV-Screen and saw what he was watching. He was shocked !!! He came back to his bedroom and couldn't sleep all night. The same thing happened in the next week and the subsequent weeks also. "X"-'s dad was about 55 years of age at that time, father of two children and
on the verge of becoming a grandpa (X's elder sister, 8 years older than X, was married for a couple of years and pregnant then).
X told me "I know it's not a good thing to watch porn but at some point of time every guy of my age group feels the urge and becomes unable to supress the desires within. There is nothing wrong if I watch those once in a while just to satisfy my curiosity.I'm not doing anything taboo or harming anybody. But if aged people like aour dads too start doing these deprieving us, what to do? Besides, I always thought of my dad as my hero because I could find no blemish in anything he did but after this I feel ashamed to be his son."
I didn't know what to say. I was dumbfounded. I even tried imagining what I would have done if I were in his position but couldn't come up with any suggestion. I just shrugged off,patted him on the back and left. We're still in touch but we never talked on this issue again.
But I heard that even now, his dad who is 62 now, has got so addicted to porn-watching that he watches porn (on CDs) at night everyday openly without even bothering what his wife or children might think or feel. And poor 'X' has to stay inside his own room and has to 'satisfy' himself with his own old stock of still nude photographs of actresses and models stored in his PC. Even now he can't watch movies in his PC as whenever the light flickers a little bit his dad starts doubting and asks him what he is watching. Bechara !!! I only wish he gets a chance to go away somewhere from that place. As long as he is in that house, he will always remain 'suppressed, oppressed and therefore depressed'. High time he moved out.
'R' was busy with work (and so she will be for the next three months as her working hours have changed from 7:00-15:00 to 15:00-23:00 hrs in the evening) so I didn't have anything to do or any company after leaving office. Hence I came home and put on some music and preferred to give in to the nostalgia while sipping on some vodka and smoking.
I remembered one of the weirdest things I had ever heard from anybody quite some time back (almost 7 years back).I was in the 12th standard then. There was this guy called 'X' and he was one of those very close friends of mine. We were in the same school, same class, same section. Once he was looking very gloomy. I noticed but thought may be it was one of those occasional mood swings everyone has from time to time and ignored. But he remained so for quite a few days. He was looking depressed, troubled,hurt. After more than a week passed, I couldn't help but ask him what it was. He hesitated for a moment and then said he too felt too suffocated from inside but it was something he wasn't sure whether he should share with somebody or not. I said if he didn't wan't to share it's fine but if he did then I was all game for giving him an ear and may be finding some way out of his distress. After that what he told me was probably the most shocking thing I had ever heard.
It was the time when The TV channel "TB6-Mockba" was being aired in India by the cable operators and within the first 2-3 months it was very popular as it had certain programmes for certain audiences at certain times. Early in the morning on sundays (as early as 2:00 a.m) they used to put episodes of "Playboy" on air and we suppressed, oppressed and therefore depressed Indian teenagers used to wait for that for the whole week. "X" was no exception either. For one month, i.e, four consecutive weeks he had watched four episodes of "Playboy" and with that his appetite for sex-education had only increased. Can't really blame him because it was quite natural for a 17-year-old guy.
He wanted more of it. But, on the fifth week, when he quietly got out of his bed and without making any sound, advanced towards the TV-Room, fully convinced that everybody else in his house was fast asleep, he saw the TV-light fluctuating in the TV-Room and he knew there was someone already there. He just peeped through the semi-opened door and saw his father staring at the TV-screen with an open mouth and eyes that weren't even blinking. He thought may be his dad wasn't feeling sleepy and that's why he had come to the TV-Room. But then he looked at the TV-Screen and saw what he was watching. He was shocked !!! He came back to his bedroom and couldn't sleep all night. The same thing happened in the next week and the subsequent weeks also. "X"-'s dad was about 55 years of age at that time, father of two children and
on the verge of becoming a grandpa (X's elder sister, 8 years older than X, was married for a couple of years and pregnant then).
X told me "I know it's not a good thing to watch porn but at some point of time every guy of my age group feels the urge and becomes unable to supress the desires within. There is nothing wrong if I watch those once in a while just to satisfy my curiosity.I'm not doing anything taboo or harming anybody. But if aged people like aour dads too start doing these deprieving us, what to do? Besides, I always thought of my dad as my hero because I could find no blemish in anything he did but after this I feel ashamed to be his son."
I didn't know what to say. I was dumbfounded. I even tried imagining what I would have done if I were in his position but couldn't come up with any suggestion. I just shrugged off,patted him on the back and left. We're still in touch but we never talked on this issue again.
But I heard that even now, his dad who is 62 now, has got so addicted to porn-watching that he watches porn (on CDs) at night everyday openly without even bothering what his wife or children might think or feel. And poor 'X' has to stay inside his own room and has to 'satisfy' himself with his own old stock of still nude photographs of actresses and models stored in his PC. Even now he can't watch movies in his PC as whenever the light flickers a little bit his dad starts doubting and asks him what he is watching. Bechara !!! I only wish he gets a chance to go away somewhere from that place. As long as he is in that house, he will always remain 'suppressed, oppressed and therefore depressed'. High time he moved out.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
ONE OF THE BETTER ARTICLES I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS....
0 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 5:13 PM.
Despite being out-and-out a Bengali, I never was, am or will be a fan of Sourav Ganguly. But The recent injustice done to him by Mr Kiran More & Co can't be accepted under any circumstances.
This is an article I came across some time back and I find it one of the very best I've ever come across.
"Die Sourav Die"
By Arnab - January 4 2006
Let's look at it logically. Who is Sourav Ganguly to me? A rich man's son who had many privileges growing up I didn't have--by common consent arrogant, abrasive and petulant. Not my favorite kind of person.
I have never been parochial, have no problems in making fun of other other Bengali heroes (Mithunda), do not hero-worship Netaji and do not feel that the Hilsa is the last thing in cuisine. And yet the mere mention of Dada makes me acutely conscious of my linguistic identity which is ironical in that Sourav Ganguly's greatest legacy is his lack of parochialism and his hard-nosed objectivity when dealing with Indian cricket players.
Here's a simple test. Go through a few articles about Sourav. The word "Bengal" or "Kolkata" is going to be present in the article with a high probability. Now go through a few articles about Sachin. Check out "Maharashtra" or "Mumbai". Just to confirm that go to articles about Rahul Dravid and check out "Karnataka" or "Bangalore".
In Stonybrook where I was a PhD student for 5 years, the guy who used to rain abuse at Ganguly happened to be someone who stayed in Kolkata when he was a child and hated it. Just a coincidence. Whenever Ganguly got out, eyes would turn towards me.... some people would tell me "Ki Arnab-da... when is Dada going to make runs?" as if somehow being Bong made me answerable for Sourav's performance. No Bangalorean or Marathi was ever made accountable for Sachin's or Rahul Dravid's failures with the bat--and there have been several over the past 5 years.
So let me pre-empt Mr. Anonymous commenter. Yes sir, I support Ganguly because he is Bengali. Because you have left me no other choice. If I was Bangalorean and took out a procession burning effigies of Ganguly and shouting slogans for Rahul Dravid, I would not be considered parochial. But with me being a Bengali Kolkatan, I have already been labelled. So now let me live upto it. Unapologetically.
Now the parochial, third-eye blind Greatbong speaks.
I strongly feel for Sourav. The powers in admininstration (Dalmiya) have sold him out to Pawar and Bindra as a peace offering--Dravid as captain in exchange for a truce. Vision for 2007 World Cup yeah right. Which just goes to show the Dalmiya never supported Ganguly because he was a fellow Bong (incidentally Dalmia isn't a Bong but he is a Kolkatan) but because it was politically expedient to do so.
Greg Chappell, with the aid of his friends in the Press (more about that later) have savaged Ganguly's legacy--Greg "underarm" Chappell rightfully understands that in order to get rid of Ganguly the person, he first needs to kill Ganguly the legend. Canards were spread that Ganguly faked injury, spread discontent in the team--accusations intended to undermine Ganguly's reputation of never playing politics in the team based on personal equations (a charge Ganguly's predecessors in the captains seat cannot deflect off easily). The investigation of the board cleared Ganguly of the charges of faking an injury--yet the coach, who had been proved to be a liar, was not taken to task. Instead it was Ganguly who was out of the team despite having successfully defended himself against all accusations.
But what was the unkindest cut of all was that Rahul Dravid actively worked , in collusion with Greg Chappell, to prevent Sourav from coming back into the team. Since he is now the blue-eyed boy of the press, this behavior was considered to be "okay". If it was Sourav doing it to Dravid, then the press would have been beating their chest--pointing out how dastardly Bengali Ganguly was, lusting for captaincy and backstabbing a "friend". However since it's Rahul Dravid, Cricinfo (which has emerged as a beacon light for aggressive, anti-Ganguly biased reporting in recent times--putting it one notch above the anti-Ganguly hate sight for undiluted vitriol) finds it "natural" that Dravid is aggrieved that he has not been given the captaincy for so long--somehow the underlying assumption being that captaincy is a cookie you get for being a good boy.
I seem to recollect in the late 90s groaning the moment one of Sourav or Sachin got out because that meant Dravid would come into bat and the scoring rate would go down. Yet, noone ever felt then that Dravid should not be part of long term World Cup plans. It was once Dravid became wicketkeeper (and thus assured of his place in the team) that he began to flourish with deft placements, soft hands and clinical hits--a move that was the brainchild of the same man whom he argued to kick out a few days ago.
Note to self: When Dravid and More work together to ease out someone it is progressive thinking, the moment Dalmiya is involved it is dirty politics. Doublespeak anyone?
Now we come to the central argument against Ganguly. Who does Ganguly replace in the current team? How about a 31-year old trundler who bowls laughable military medium and cannot read Muralidharan's doosra and calls himself an all rounder mainly because he doesn't know which he does worse ? How about an 18-year old whose only bullet in the resume is that he can field well? Are these people part of Vision 2007 because they are more capable than Sourav Ganguly or because they are yes-men of the More-Chappell-Dravid combine?
Another point of view: Okay Ganguly has proven his form and his fitness. But these young players haven't yet had the opportunity to prove their mettle--how can they be dropped? Beautifull... now please explain how come Balaji who gave 48 runs in 10 overs in Sri Lanka never made it to the side subsequently? Where was the sense of fairness then? If one match did it for Balaji, then how come Venugopal Rao, who had a dreadful run in Sri Lanka, is still in the 14 as a prospect? What happened to Nehra? How come Zaheer is not good to be in the India team but gets Man of the Series in the Afro-Asia Cup? How come Sreesanth bowled well in one Challenger trophy match and made it to the Indian team ? How does the great Chappell-Dravid combine understand talent in such blindingly brief displays ?
How come Superduck (apologies to Samit Basu) Agarkar, whose "economy" rate is over 5, is considered to be a World Cup prospect--maybe it is because he and More come from the same part of the country? Perhaps? Will Cricinfo suggest that? No it won't in spite of the fact that they did not hesitate to repeat Ganguly and Dalmiya's connection ad nausuem.
Ganguly has been dropped because he will not play ball with Chappell, since he has his own ways of going about things. This makes it purely a power struggle between coach and captain and the captain has been defeated and replaced by a coach's stooge. Simple. It happens in the corporate world--it happens elsewhere. But puleeze let's not apply "Fair and Handsome" onto this mess and pretend that it has anything to do with "vision".
If the team is happy without Sourav as press reports indicate, why were some of the same players so eager to speak out in his favour till the Board had to forcibly stop them from speaking to the Press? Harbhajan came out strongly in favor of Ganguly, Yuvraj gave a more political correct statement of support. Sehwag also wanted to come out. Now Sourav must have done something right to warrant players coming out in support of him--even at the cost of upsetting their equations with a coach who has shown that he does not welcome democratic dissent.
And Cricinfo. Man I used to really like these guys--unlike the guys at TOI they understand their cricket. They still do I think but in the Ganguly issue, have totally lost their objectivity.
Ever since I read that Ganguly does not give them quotable quotes and instead pampers to a select coterie of journalists--I knew that the staffers were waiting with their knives out ready to plunge it in when he slipped up. And slip up he did and out came the daggers. A picture of Cricinfo staffers with Rahul Dravid and Mohammed Kaif, who had dropped in for a casual visit, kind of hinted which way the PR river was flowing.
Anand Vasu opines:
"For all he has contributed to this team, Ganguly deserved a better farewell - if indeed that's what this is - than being abruptly dropped. He deserved to walk away into the sunset, head held high, not be nudged out, first by coach, then the media, the public, and finally the selectors. But then again, with his batting, his behavior and his almost stubborn refusal to let go, he barely gave anyone a chance to do any better by him."
What behavior Mr. Vasu? The bad behavior of snubbing Cricinfo reporters? Or the behavior alluded to by the "proven-to-be-lies" accusations by the coach? Batting -- do you mean his century on a green pitch (prepared by Ganguly fans to aid his demise) against a bunch of bowlers, most of whom have played for India? As to Ganguly's poor run with the bat, even Sachin has had a dreadful time of late, before the first two matches--so let's not split hairs--what counts is IMMEDIATE form.
Or is it the fact that he refuses to throw in the towel that irritates you? The fact that he is fighting hard at the nets, the fact that he is not backing out, the fact that he has regained his form?
A word of advice from a parochial Bong for Mr Vasu and his other friends at ihateganguly.com or whatever that site is called. Please go to Alipore Zoo and see a Royal Bengal tiger. Old, haggard, underfed... kept in an enclosed space that's dirty and damp. People throw rubbish, taunt and laugh and the regal beast sits there--unmoved, immune to the humiliation. But just come into his cage and see what he can do--a few people who jumped into the tiger's cage to garland the benign beast found out to their dismay when they were reduced to ribbons.
Similarly, the fire still burns inside Royal Bengal Ganguly -- and as the fools jeer and mock him, he continues tirelessly determined to come back. In glory.
You are right Mr. Vasu. Sourav shall not go away.
And neither shall we, his "parochial" supporters.
And, after reading this blog, I have become a fan of Arnab, the GreatBong. He is truly a genius.
This is an article I came across some time back and I find it one of the very best I've ever come across.
"Die Sourav Die"
By Arnab - January 4 2006
Let's look at it logically. Who is Sourav Ganguly to me? A rich man's son who had many privileges growing up I didn't have--by common consent arrogant, abrasive and petulant. Not my favorite kind of person.
I have never been parochial, have no problems in making fun of other other Bengali heroes (Mithunda), do not hero-worship Netaji and do not feel that the Hilsa is the last thing in cuisine. And yet the mere mention of Dada makes me acutely conscious of my linguistic identity which is ironical in that Sourav Ganguly's greatest legacy is his lack of parochialism and his hard-nosed objectivity when dealing with Indian cricket players.
Here's a simple test. Go through a few articles about Sourav. The word "Bengal" or "Kolkata" is going to be present in the article with a high probability. Now go through a few articles about Sachin. Check out "Maharashtra" or "Mumbai". Just to confirm that go to articles about Rahul Dravid and check out "Karnataka" or "Bangalore".
In Stonybrook where I was a PhD student for 5 years, the guy who used to rain abuse at Ganguly happened to be someone who stayed in Kolkata when he was a child and hated it. Just a coincidence. Whenever Ganguly got out, eyes would turn towards me.... some people would tell me "Ki Arnab-da... when is Dada going to make runs?" as if somehow being Bong made me answerable for Sourav's performance. No Bangalorean or Marathi was ever made accountable for Sachin's or Rahul Dravid's failures with the bat--and there have been several over the past 5 years.
So let me pre-empt Mr. Anonymous commenter. Yes sir, I support Ganguly because he is Bengali. Because you have left me no other choice. If I was Bangalorean and took out a procession burning effigies of Ganguly and shouting slogans for Rahul Dravid, I would not be considered parochial. But with me being a Bengali Kolkatan, I have already been labelled. So now let me live upto it. Unapologetically.
Now the parochial, third-eye blind Greatbong speaks.
I strongly feel for Sourav. The powers in admininstration (Dalmiya) have sold him out to Pawar and Bindra as a peace offering--Dravid as captain in exchange for a truce. Vision for 2007 World Cup yeah right. Which just goes to show the Dalmiya never supported Ganguly because he was a fellow Bong (incidentally Dalmia isn't a Bong but he is a Kolkatan) but because it was politically expedient to do so.
Greg Chappell, with the aid of his friends in the Press (more about that later) have savaged Ganguly's legacy--Greg "underarm" Chappell rightfully understands that in order to get rid of Ganguly the person, he first needs to kill Ganguly the legend. Canards were spread that Ganguly faked injury, spread discontent in the team--accusations intended to undermine Ganguly's reputation of never playing politics in the team based on personal equations (a charge Ganguly's predecessors in the captains seat cannot deflect off easily). The investigation of the board cleared Ganguly of the charges of faking an injury--yet the coach, who had been proved to be a liar, was not taken to task. Instead it was Ganguly who was out of the team despite having successfully defended himself against all accusations.
But what was the unkindest cut of all was that Rahul Dravid actively worked , in collusion with Greg Chappell, to prevent Sourav from coming back into the team. Since he is now the blue-eyed boy of the press, this behavior was considered to be "okay". If it was Sourav doing it to Dravid, then the press would have been beating their chest--pointing out how dastardly Bengali Ganguly was, lusting for captaincy and backstabbing a "friend". However since it's Rahul Dravid, Cricinfo (which has emerged as a beacon light for aggressive, anti-Ganguly biased reporting in recent times--putting it one notch above the anti-Ganguly hate sight for undiluted vitriol) finds it "natural" that Dravid is aggrieved that he has not been given the captaincy for so long--somehow the underlying assumption being that captaincy is a cookie you get for being a good boy.
I seem to recollect in the late 90s groaning the moment one of Sourav or Sachin got out because that meant Dravid would come into bat and the scoring rate would go down. Yet, noone ever felt then that Dravid should not be part of long term World Cup plans. It was once Dravid became wicketkeeper (and thus assured of his place in the team) that he began to flourish with deft placements, soft hands and clinical hits--a move that was the brainchild of the same man whom he argued to kick out a few days ago.
Note to self: When Dravid and More work together to ease out someone it is progressive thinking, the moment Dalmiya is involved it is dirty politics. Doublespeak anyone?
Now we come to the central argument against Ganguly. Who does Ganguly replace in the current team? How about a 31-year old trundler who bowls laughable military medium and cannot read Muralidharan's doosra and calls himself an all rounder mainly because he doesn't know which he does worse ? How about an 18-year old whose only bullet in the resume is that he can field well? Are these people part of Vision 2007 because they are more capable than Sourav Ganguly or because they are yes-men of the More-Chappell-Dravid combine?
Another point of view: Okay Ganguly has proven his form and his fitness. But these young players haven't yet had the opportunity to prove their mettle--how can they be dropped? Beautifull... now please explain how come Balaji who gave 48 runs in 10 overs in Sri Lanka never made it to the side subsequently? Where was the sense of fairness then? If one match did it for Balaji, then how come Venugopal Rao, who had a dreadful run in Sri Lanka, is still in the 14 as a prospect? What happened to Nehra? How come Zaheer is not good to be in the India team but gets Man of the Series in the Afro-Asia Cup? How come Sreesanth bowled well in one Challenger trophy match and made it to the Indian team ? How does the great Chappell-Dravid combine understand talent in such blindingly brief displays ?
How come Superduck (apologies to Samit Basu) Agarkar, whose "economy" rate is over 5, is considered to be a World Cup prospect--maybe it is because he and More come from the same part of the country? Perhaps? Will Cricinfo suggest that? No it won't in spite of the fact that they did not hesitate to repeat Ganguly and Dalmiya's connection ad nausuem.
Ganguly has been dropped because he will not play ball with Chappell, since he has his own ways of going about things. This makes it purely a power struggle between coach and captain and the captain has been defeated and replaced by a coach's stooge. Simple. It happens in the corporate world--it happens elsewhere. But puleeze let's not apply "Fair and Handsome" onto this mess and pretend that it has anything to do with "vision".
If the team is happy without Sourav as press reports indicate, why were some of the same players so eager to speak out in his favour till the Board had to forcibly stop them from speaking to the Press? Harbhajan came out strongly in favor of Ganguly, Yuvraj gave a more political correct statement of support. Sehwag also wanted to come out. Now Sourav must have done something right to warrant players coming out in support of him--even at the cost of upsetting their equations with a coach who has shown that he does not welcome democratic dissent.
And Cricinfo. Man I used to really like these guys--unlike the guys at TOI they understand their cricket. They still do I think but in the Ganguly issue, have totally lost their objectivity.
Ever since I read that Ganguly does not give them quotable quotes and instead pampers to a select coterie of journalists--I knew that the staffers were waiting with their knives out ready to plunge it in when he slipped up. And slip up he did and out came the daggers. A picture of Cricinfo staffers with Rahul Dravid and Mohammed Kaif, who had dropped in for a casual visit, kind of hinted which way the PR river was flowing.
Anand Vasu opines:
"For all he has contributed to this team, Ganguly deserved a better farewell - if indeed that's what this is - than being abruptly dropped. He deserved to walk away into the sunset, head held high, not be nudged out, first by coach, then the media, the public, and finally the selectors. But then again, with his batting, his behavior and his almost stubborn refusal to let go, he barely gave anyone a chance to do any better by him."
What behavior Mr. Vasu? The bad behavior of snubbing Cricinfo reporters? Or the behavior alluded to by the "proven-to-be-lies" accusations by the coach? Batting -- do you mean his century on a green pitch (prepared by Ganguly fans to aid his demise) against a bunch of bowlers, most of whom have played for India? As to Ganguly's poor run with the bat, even Sachin has had a dreadful time of late, before the first two matches--so let's not split hairs--what counts is IMMEDIATE form.
Or is it the fact that he refuses to throw in the towel that irritates you? The fact that he is fighting hard at the nets, the fact that he is not backing out, the fact that he has regained his form?
A word of advice from a parochial Bong for Mr Vasu and his other friends at ihateganguly.com or whatever that site is called. Please go to Alipore Zoo and see a Royal Bengal tiger. Old, haggard, underfed... kept in an enclosed space that's dirty and damp. People throw rubbish, taunt and laugh and the regal beast sits there--unmoved, immune to the humiliation. But just come into his cage and see what he can do--a few people who jumped into the tiger's cage to garland the benign beast found out to their dismay when they were reduced to ribbons.
Similarly, the fire still burns inside Royal Bengal Ganguly -- and as the fools jeer and mock him, he continues tirelessly determined to come back. In glory.
You are right Mr. Vasu. Sourav shall not go away.
And neither shall we, his "parochial" supporters.
And, after reading this blog, I have become a fan of Arnab, the GreatBong. He is truly a genius.
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
*** Bangalore .... no more :(
1 Comments Published by Apocalyptus on Monday, January 23, 2006 at 6:35 PM.
Alright folks !!! It's official now. Our good ol' Bangalore would be re-christened as "BENGALURU" some time later this year (most probably on 1st November). The Pundits (ones who conceived this wonderful idea) feel the name change will give a feel of the Local language, that is, Kannada.
"Bombay became Mumbai, Calcutta became Kolkata, Madras became Chennai. Now, if people in other states can do this, why can't we?" said one of them. I read this in the newspaper a few days back and couldn’t help thinking about the decision and imagining the estimated time and effort it is going to take to get this done.
After reading this, the first thing that I visualized was the the condition of the road which has been dug recently at Koramangala, one of the ciy's most happening places. I was really astonished to see one sign board which says "Work in progress.Please cooperate. - BMTC" . And I swear, all I have been seeing there for almost more than a couple of months now is digging , digging and more digging.
Bangalore , despite it's numerous plusses, is the city with the worst traffic management system and infrastructure in India (even worse than Kolkata). A lot has been talked and spoken about the city's pathetic infrastructure and poor traffic management system but nothing useful or fruitful has been done so far.
Here it takes 5-6 years to construct one 200 metre long fly-over (The one from BTM Layout to J.P.Nagar), and that too only to make people's lives more miserable than before due to poor planning.
Full of one-ways and no-entries, the city is becoming a nightmare for all vehicle-owners. To reach a certain destination from a certain place one has to be educated enough to know about all the possible routes connecting those two places because the route which was open till yesterday may suddenly become a no-entry today and again be open tomorrow. And because of these no-entries and one-ways, more often than not, one has to travel a lot of extra distance unnecessarily (like me...I have to cover 9 Kms everyday to reach office from home whereas the actual distance is 5.5 Kms).
People who don't own any vehicle are very badly affected as well. Huge BMTC buses , the main cause behind the traffic jam on most of these narrow Bangalore roads, take exactly 90 minutes to cover a distance of 8 kilometres, stopping after every 10 metres, irrespective of whether there is a bus-stop or not. These buses look really big, twice as big compared to those in any other Indian city. And, the roads are as narrow as they can be. Once one bus stops in front of you, you get stuck there until it starts moving again.
The other means of transport are the Auto-rickshaws which are driven by khaaki-clad dacoits. Yes, I used the word 'dacoit'. They never hesitate to take full advantage of people in distress. Under normal circumstances, they start charging 1.5 times of the meter reading 8 o'clock onwards at night and it becomes 2 times after 10. The actual rule, I got to know after asking a traffic policeman, is that they can charge 1.5 times the meter reading from 10:30 at night to 5:30 in the morning.
And, if it's drizzling (yes, drizzling, not even raining)they would charge exorbitant fares to go anywhere. If there is traffic jam, they would charge double meter. Therefore, to travel 10 kilometres one has to pay up to Rs 100. Certainly not possible for middle-class office-goers everyday.
On top of that, there is the problem of parking vehicles. Hundreds of pages can be written on this topic only. So, I'm not going into that now. Will come back with a post exclusively on the parking problem some time.
Cops - both at the Police Stations and on the roads, ask for bribe shamelessly. If you've broken any rule, you can still get away with a fine of 1000 bucks if you talk to himj in Kannada and give him 200 bucks "to buy sweets for his children". But if you can't speak Kannada and although have done nothing wrong, are being held for violating traffic rules, there is no escaping....Once I even had to hear "We know you haven't broken any rules.But it's night and no one has seen why we asked you to stop in the middle of the road. Pay 300 bucks and leave, or we'll take you to the Police Station, lock you up and charge you for rash and drunken driving." You have to pay whatever they ask for. Otherwise, they will just drag you and your vehicle to the Poilce Station nearby where an equally greedy, uncultured and uncouth Officer-in-charge would be waiting to welcome you. If you have come to this city from any place outside Karnataka, Tamil Nadu or Andhra Pradesh, whenever you are talking to a cop, the first phrase that he will be using to address you is "VAAT IZH VRAANG VITH YYYOU NAAAAAAARTH INDIANS"? (Read: What is wrong with you north Indians?). Once my cell phone was stolen and I just went to lodge a complaint and the officer on duty told me " YYYOU NAAARTH INDIANS YAARE CARELESS BUNCH WOB PEOPALLE. YEEWER SINCE YYYOU PEOPALLE HIYAVE STARTED COMING TO OUUUAR CITY,THE CRIME RATE HAS YYINCREEEESSSEED HERE." (Read: You north-Indians are a careless bunch of people. Ever since you people have started coming to our city, the crime rate has increased here.)According to them, their children also are learning bad bad things like consuming alcohol, smoking, watching porn, eve-teasing et cetera from their "naarth indian" counterparts.
One more incident, to glorify the Bangalore cops further --- My friend Rajesh writes : """One funny incident which I would like to tell you about is that yesterday while coming back home from “wonder la” I lost my way and entered on 100 m stretch of road where only four wheelers were going in. Two policemen jumped in front of my bike from no where and asked this is a no entry zone for two wheelers and auto and before I even said one word they continued telling me that there is one sign board some 50 m back so I need to pay fine.
Well I smiled took my wallet and gave him 100 bucks and asked him just one question “Sir if you know that bikers might enter in this road by mistake as it's dark and there's no light near the signboard, why don’t you stand in the beginning of road and stop bikes from entering road? I guess even you need to do new year shopping“. He was speechless and the expression of anger in his face was “priceless”."""
How idle can people get that they are desperate to get the name of their city changed, without even bothering about the zillions of more important existing problems, nothwithstanding the enormous amount of money , effort and time that will go wasted in the process of changing the name to “Bengaluru” from "Bangalore". There is so much work to be done in the city to get the image of the city right that the Government should be on its toes 24X7 but all they are interested in doing is to change the damn name of the city. Isn't it ridiculous? Forget common public.....the people who actually made Bangalore what it is todaty, that is, Azim Premji, N.R.Narayana Murthy, Kiran Majumdar Shaw - all these stalwarts have been cribbing and complaining about these infrastructural problems for years and there is no one to pay any heed to what they are saying. Every time they call on a meeting, the Government promises a lot of things and starts a lot of planning but these never get implemented.
I know, I don't have the power to change things but just can't keep quiet and see these bafoonery going on. Why the heck don't they concentrate on solving more imminent problems than getting the city's name changed or stopping Hindi/English movie-releases in the city?
"Bombay became Mumbai, Calcutta became Kolkata, Madras became Chennai. Now, if people in other states can do this, why can't we?" said one of them. I read this in the newspaper a few days back and couldn’t help thinking about the decision and imagining the estimated time and effort it is going to take to get this done.
After reading this, the first thing that I visualized was the the condition of the road which has been dug recently at Koramangala, one of the ciy's most happening places. I was really astonished to see one sign board which says "Work in progress.Please cooperate. - BMTC" . And I swear, all I have been seeing there for almost more than a couple of months now is digging , digging and more digging.
Bangalore , despite it's numerous plusses, is the city with the worst traffic management system and infrastructure in India (even worse than Kolkata). A lot has been talked and spoken about the city's pathetic infrastructure and poor traffic management system but nothing useful or fruitful has been done so far.
Here it takes 5-6 years to construct one 200 metre long fly-over (The one from BTM Layout to J.P.Nagar), and that too only to make people's lives more miserable than before due to poor planning.
Full of one-ways and no-entries, the city is becoming a nightmare for all vehicle-owners. To reach a certain destination from a certain place one has to be educated enough to know about all the possible routes connecting those two places because the route which was open till yesterday may suddenly become a no-entry today and again be open tomorrow. And because of these no-entries and one-ways, more often than not, one has to travel a lot of extra distance unnecessarily (like me...I have to cover 9 Kms everyday to reach office from home whereas the actual distance is 5.5 Kms).
People who don't own any vehicle are very badly affected as well. Huge BMTC buses , the main cause behind the traffic jam on most of these narrow Bangalore roads, take exactly 90 minutes to cover a distance of 8 kilometres, stopping after every 10 metres, irrespective of whether there is a bus-stop or not. These buses look really big, twice as big compared to those in any other Indian city. And, the roads are as narrow as they can be. Once one bus stops in front of you, you get stuck there until it starts moving again.
The other means of transport are the Auto-rickshaws which are driven by khaaki-clad dacoits. Yes, I used the word 'dacoit'. They never hesitate to take full advantage of people in distress. Under normal circumstances, they start charging 1.5 times of the meter reading 8 o'clock onwards at night and it becomes 2 times after 10. The actual rule, I got to know after asking a traffic policeman, is that they can charge 1.5 times the meter reading from 10:30 at night to 5:30 in the morning.
And, if it's drizzling (yes, drizzling, not even raining)they would charge exorbitant fares to go anywhere. If there is traffic jam, they would charge double meter. Therefore, to travel 10 kilometres one has to pay up to Rs 100. Certainly not possible for middle-class office-goers everyday.
On top of that, there is the problem of parking vehicles. Hundreds of pages can be written on this topic only. So, I'm not going into that now. Will come back with a post exclusively on the parking problem some time.
Cops - both at the Police Stations and on the roads, ask for bribe shamelessly. If you've broken any rule, you can still get away with a fine of 1000 bucks if you talk to himj in Kannada and give him 200 bucks "to buy sweets for his children". But if you can't speak Kannada and although have done nothing wrong, are being held for violating traffic rules, there is no escaping....Once I even had to hear "We know you haven't broken any rules.But it's night and no one has seen why we asked you to stop in the middle of the road. Pay 300 bucks and leave, or we'll take you to the Police Station, lock you up and charge you for rash and drunken driving." You have to pay whatever they ask for. Otherwise, they will just drag you and your vehicle to the Poilce Station nearby where an equally greedy, uncultured and uncouth Officer-in-charge would be waiting to welcome you. If you have come to this city from any place outside Karnataka, Tamil Nadu or Andhra Pradesh, whenever you are talking to a cop, the first phrase that he will be using to address you is "VAAT IZH VRAANG VITH YYYOU NAAAAAAARTH INDIANS"? (Read: What is wrong with you north Indians?). Once my cell phone was stolen and I just went to lodge a complaint and the officer on duty told me " YYYOU NAAARTH INDIANS YAARE CARELESS BUNCH WOB PEOPALLE. YEEWER SINCE YYYOU PEOPALLE HIYAVE STARTED COMING TO OUUUAR CITY,THE CRIME RATE HAS YYINCREEEESSSEED HERE." (Read: You north-Indians are a careless bunch of people. Ever since you people have started coming to our city, the crime rate has increased here.)According to them, their children also are learning bad bad things like consuming alcohol, smoking, watching porn, eve-teasing et cetera from their "naarth indian" counterparts.
One more incident, to glorify the Bangalore cops further --- My friend Rajesh writes : """One funny incident which I would like to tell you about is that yesterday while coming back home from “wonder la” I lost my way and entered on 100 m stretch of road where only four wheelers were going in. Two policemen jumped in front of my bike from no where and asked this is a no entry zone for two wheelers and auto and before I even said one word they continued telling me that there is one sign board some 50 m back so I need to pay fine.
Well I smiled took my wallet and gave him 100 bucks and asked him just one question “Sir if you know that bikers might enter in this road by mistake as it's dark and there's no light near the signboard, why don’t you stand in the beginning of road and stop bikes from entering road? I guess even you need to do new year shopping“. He was speechless and the expression of anger in his face was “priceless”."""
How idle can people get that they are desperate to get the name of their city changed, without even bothering about the zillions of more important existing problems, nothwithstanding the enormous amount of money , effort and time that will go wasted in the process of changing the name to “Bengaluru” from "Bangalore". There is so much work to be done in the city to get the image of the city right that the Government should be on its toes 24X7 but all they are interested in doing is to change the damn name of the city. Isn't it ridiculous? Forget common public.....the people who actually made Bangalore what it is todaty, that is, Azim Premji, N.R.Narayana Murthy, Kiran Majumdar Shaw - all these stalwarts have been cribbing and complaining about these infrastructural problems for years and there is no one to pay any heed to what they are saying. Every time they call on a meeting, the Government promises a lot of things and starts a lot of planning but these never get implemented.
I know, I don't have the power to change things but just can't keep quiet and see these bafoonery going on. Why the heck don't they concentrate on solving more imminent problems than getting the city's name changed or stopping Hindi/English movie-releases in the city?
Labels: Fun, Miscellaneous, serious
